Sorry for not having updated for some time. It is not because I couldn't spare any time, but because I really didn't know how to put my mind into proper words, with a same proper mood. Maybe the latter was more difficult.

    I've been thinking over a lot of things these days, just like everyone around me. What will the future be? What will I be doing? Where will I be? Everything that used to seem so definite and clear now seems so confusing and hazy to me, really something troublesome... The feeling is just like a peaceful life having been ruined by a sudden disaster, and now everyone, including me, has woken up to worry. Maybe it's all due to the class meeting DSS gave us that day, maybe not. I wouldn't attribute all the bad mood to the class meeting, for these problems do have been existing and we do need a reminder.

    I do share some points of view with Tingo. I want to further my study, want to do something, and want a better life, my own life. But I do not want to rely on my parents too much-for I cannot say I will live completely without their support, do not want to spend their money, and do not want them to worry too much about me. Parents don't care what it costs them for a better life of their children, but we care, and we should. Several years ago when asked whether I would go abroad to study, I simply replied no, because I didn't want a possibly better life at the cost of my mom's hard working, though she wouldn't care. I'm still holding this idea. I'm still too young to talk about complete independent life, but I'm still wanting to have a life as independent as possible. At least I can relieve some of my parents' burden.

    Too much pessimistic talking, just an outlet of my thinking. Anyway we still have time and chances. Too much worrying is meaningless, yet no one can tell exaxtly what the future will be. We are no more than common people, so it's ok to have some common worries. Decisions are always hard to make, especially when ourselves are concerned, so just take every steps seriously and make a right one at the right time. And more importantly, we need some faith, in the future as well as in ourselves. Hope everyone who's confusing can have a lighter heart, including myself.

    回国后的第一次更新，说实话还真不知道从什么地方开始写起……其实要写话可能几千个字都不够，但是现在却什么都写不出，什么也都不想写。心情就好比是刚刚遇到大的灾难，虽然幸存下来，但却已经是筋疲力尽……一直觉得自己是个幸运的人，但每次幸运之后就会担心下次还会不会这么幸运。果然，即使是命中注定幸运也是需要自己去争取去珍惜的何况命中还没注定的事情。

    一直想客观公平地去看待任何事，但发现原来这几乎不可能。任何事情都是两面的，而我们所更关注的永远都只是自己这半的故事。往往是在我们自以为公正的时候会忽略故事的另一半，因为往往我们都会本能地保护自己。毕竟，生活中不会有个法官或是什么人一直问着：“What's your side of the story”

    开学的第一周，忙碌加上焦急的心情。突然会觉得自己前途很渺茫，不是担心以后的工作什么的，只是不知道以后究竟会怎样。刚看到老姐空间的标题觉得很有道理：“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery”，明天果然就是一个大大的问号，永远看不清答案。尽管我一直觉得应该顺其自然，但只是担心也许顺其自然顺到最后就什么都没有了……

    “进攻是最好的防守”，对这句话有了新的认识。尽管玩游戏的时候我不喜欢用那些偏重进攻的角色，但现在看来这句话能被反复引用无数次应该是有道理的。要开始好好研究一下进攻咯，不然真的会被干掉的……