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    July 20

    出发之前

        仿佛就像是被诅咒了一般,每次要做比较大的事请之前,总会遇到一些属于比较“不祥”的预兆,比如说昨天晚上会莫名其妙和好朋友吵了起来,再比如说今天早上醒来喉咙像火烧一样剧痛。
        不过该做的事情还是要做,该走的还是要走。毕竟,总算可以暂时告别一下无聊的状态了。
        这两天每晚都在群和同行的人热烈讨论着准备去的景点和路线。不,或许说我只是热烈地观察着他们讨论比较准确—基本上我不用怎么说话,也实在难找到说话的地方。不过去哪里我倒真的很无所谓;对我来说目的地并不重要,重要的旅行本身。只要能去,我就很满足了。于是乎每天晚上看着某人一次又一次当着“葱头”,看着某人的无理取闹,只想默默地说一句,大家都辛苦了……
        突然发现人越长越大,很多事情也变得越来越简单。以前出个门总要翻箱倒柜整理东西外加兴奋个几天,现在马上要横跨半个中国长度跋涉却跟没事似的,连东西都懒得整理。衣服,一些日用品,药,各种充电器,证件……思前想后好像这些东西也足够够生存了,当然前提是有足够的人民币。不过鉴于人民币有限,还是只能精细算阿……
        早上八点,浦东机场。星期天早上4点多起床看来是无法避免的了,不过明天还要5点起床预先“演练”一下。没办法,哈里波特终结篇为什么偏偏这么巧要在明天发售……只能早点睡觉,强打精神了。Bon voyage, gute Reise, good night
    July 14

    After two weeks

    放假了,也许是人生中最后一个暑假。
        已经不再是以前那个天天盼着放假的孩子了,不会再像捡到宝贝一样兴奋不已;现在放假两个星期的我最多只会轻轻地感叹一句:又是一个漫长的假期而已。
        不知道什么时候开始习惯说而已。最后一个暑假而已,漫长而已,无聊而已,空虚而已……没想到自己有朝一日也会沦落到如此地步。不是无所畏,只是无所谓。在家无聊?反正在家本来就无聊,习惯了;找不到实习?就像某熊说的,宁缺勿滥,何况去骗子公司推销保险也不是理智的选择。看看书,看看片子,偶尔帮焦头烂额的某人做下翻译也算是专业学习;冒着塌方泥石流的危险去四川云南玩玩的确也是不错的选择,再去南京看看外公外婆,好久没见了。
        很久没有好好休息了,每天都会觉得很累。然而放了假又会觉得迷茫,会怀念忙忙碌碌的时光,就像现在想更新,却又不知道该写什么。人果然很贱。充实真的是很难达到一种理想状态,大多数时候很多人只是用忙碌来掩饰内心的空旷,伪装出坚强,欺骗着别人,也麻醉了自己……不过相比空虚的心灵,也许用无论什么东西麻醉一下也是一种解脱。梦中解脱清醒地苦,失望中寻觅偶尔的满足,其实很多人都在走无间道。
        看完了哈里波特,为罗林的想象力而五体投地;看了罗马,为古代亚平宁半岛上那个城市中市民的开放程度而瞠目结舌;今天看了China Joy,为惨不忍睹的国产游戏默哀;看了你的空间,突然觉得除了默默地祝福,我一句话也说不出口……have a nice holiday. He'll be fine...
     
    I look at you
    Please don't walk away
    I see you're about to
    There is just something I'd really like to say
    So please don't walk away
    I know that you're there
    Still you pretend you're not
    Yes I know it hurts
    I have also felt the pain
     
    So should it matter
    What I do or what I've done
    As long as in my heart
    You're still the only one
    I hear you say it
    But I don't think you understand
    I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can
     
    It's been a year
    A memory from my past
    I know what I did wrong
    I wish to change
    Just to make it last
    But I guess it's been to long
    Easy to move on
    To forget about it all
    Is that what you do, hoping I will be gone
     
    So should it matter
    What I do or what I've done
    As long as in my heart
    You're still the only one
    I hear you say it
    But I don't think you understand
    I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can
    If you got to know me again
     
    Maybe then - maybe then
    We could see what we should do
    But that's all up to you
    I'll be waiting for you
                         
                                   SISSEL——Should It Matter